Unrelated car rant (NSFW)

or Plug-in Hybrids can Suck My Ass

Apologies in advance.  If I don't take this chance to rant, I probably won't sleep tonight.

This has nothing to do with restorations, or Camaros.  It has more to do with Gen-Y douche-nozzles, marketing, and why it's good that we don't light people on fire anymore.  Or at least, we shouldn't light them on fire. . .

I'm reading the April Automobile, going through what's coming up in the wonderful world of cars nobody can afford.  Checking out the new stuff from Maserati, Ferrari, Lotus, Aston Martin, etc. . .  And in reading, I see three words that should never be used in conjunction with Maserati, Ferrari, Lotus and Aston Martin.

Plug-in Hybrid.

Oh hell no.

Let me just announce that I would very much like to hammer each of the CEO's of these car companies squarely in the balls with a tire iron.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, stop now.  Get back in your Prius and follow the rest of the lemmings off the cliff before someone has to euthanize you to protect the rest of the human race.

I'll pick on Ferrari, because I think of all the brands I've mentioned, they probably have the most recognizable name.  And probably the most obvious brand cachet.  Long ago, I read a line in Automobile that said anything from Italy should be red, fast and wicked.  I could name names, but let's keep it siple.

Take a note.  Italian.  Red.  Fast.  Wicked.

The words Plug-in hybrid should never, ever, ever coincide with words like Ferrari.  In fact, I'll go as far as saying that the first people who put a plug-in hybrid drivetrain in a Ferrari should be hung from a light pole with a rope made from their reusable shopping bags.  I think that whomever made the suggestion in the Ferrari board meeting should be dressed in a clown suit, tied to the bumper of a Traubant and dragged to death at its maximum speed.  Which has got to be around 25 miles per hour.

Same goes for the lemmings at Maserati, Lotus and Aston Martin.  Really, if you think that Prius cache meshes nicely with the Italian Supercar groove, then you're too stupid to be breathing our air.

Let me re-state it for these idiots:  Red.  Fast.  Wicked.  Italian supercars should be inaccessible.  They should be a little frightening and supremely exciting.

And if you think it's a "Good for Sales" kinda thing, think again.  Why the hell do you think Chevy is pulling back production of the Volt?  Hint:  Because NOBODY WANTS TO BUY THE PIECE OF SHIT.

It would sure be sad if people were saying that about any Ferrari in two or three years.